


Selfish

by lavenderlotion



Category: Glee
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Multi, Polyamory Negotiations, discussions of polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-11-02 00:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20565164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: “You thought we were dating?”It was Nick who said, “Yes. We all thought you two were dating, actually.”





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Set a little after S2, E12

Kurt stopped rubbing his moisturizer in when he heard a gentle knock on his door. He tilted his head to the side and looked at his own reflection, rather confused seeing as curfew had already passed. When the knock sounded out again, he checked his phone to make sure of the time before he went to the door. For a moment, he considered leaving whoever it was outside. For another too-long moment, fear gripped his belly and made his chest ache. 

But he was safe.  _ He was safe. _

It was a novel thought, after everything that had happened over the last few weeks. Kurt still found himself checking over his shoulder and darting into bathrooms during passing periods out of habit. His hypervigilance was ingrained in him so deeply that even being in an entirely new building didn't stop him from being aware of his surroundings every time he was in a densely populated public space. 

Things were better now, definitely. The nightmares he had started having after the death threat had mostly stopped now that it had been a few weeks, And even when he did things like check over his shoulder and duck into empty rooms—he knew he was safe. He would take a few deep breaths and calm down, and he'd be able to look forward or step back into the hall without worrying. 

So, just like he did whenever fear gripped his belly, he took another deep breath and pulled the door open. Immediately he felt foolish for being at all worried, and his entire body relaxed tension he hadn't even realized he'd built up. Smiling he took in the sight of Nick and Jeff, donned in Dalton issued pyjamas and smiling widely at him. Both of them had their hands behind their backs and a twinkle in their eyes that Kurt had come to realize meant mischief.

Seeing as they were breaking curfew by being outside their door, Kurt figured he knew just what that mischief was, and he smiled back happily.

“We come bearing calorie-loaded gifts,” Nick said sweetly. From behind his back, he pulled out a little wicker gift basket filled with different snacks, all horribly unhealthy but perfectly delicious. Jeff knocked his arm aside, bringing his own hands around him to show off a stack of DVDs. “And musicals!”

Kurt laughed happily, opening the door further to let them into his room. The RA had already done a room check (though seeing as his RA was  _ Trent, _ he wasn’t too worried) but Jeff and Nick still stepped inside quickly. The other two boys piled their bounty onto Kurt’s desk as Kurt closed and locked the door, not bothering to try to listen in on them whispering to each other. 

“What’s all this for?”

“We wanted to make sure you were okay after the GAP attack,” Nick told him seriously, a kind look on his face.

Kurt chuckled at the name, but he sighed heavily when he words soaked in. “Was I that obvious?” he asked, wondering how Blaine had never noticed his feelings if even the  _ other Warblers _ had. 

“No,” Jeff said quickly, waving a hand about, “we just figured, well, that you were probably upset with everything...”

The boy trailed off, but Nick picked up softly with, “Breakups suck. And I can’t  _ imagine _ what it would be like if my ex decided to serenade another boy so soon after we had broken up. We feel bad that we just went along with that and that you had to come too, so we thought a little cheering up was in order.”

Kurt stared at the two of them silently, his mouth soundless trying to form words. 

“Kurt?” Nick asked gently. Kurt looked back between the two boys with very wide eyes, silent for another minute before he asked, “You thought we were dating?”

He caught the look they share, but he didn’t know what he meant. It was Nick who said, “Yes. We all thought you two were dating, actually.”

Kurt nodded, but the words seemed like white noise. He couldn’t make sense of what they were saying, not after he spent the last few days berating himself for being so silly with the way he had built up every one of his and Blaine’s interactions in his head, just like he had done with Finn last year. Only...maybe he  _ hadn't _ built them up, maybe they were just as romantic and suggestive as Kurt had thought.

“Blaine and I never dated. In fact, Blaine didn’t even know that I was interested in him until I told him after the ‘Gap attack'.” The words were heavy in his mouth. He still felt embarrassed for the way he had assumed Blaine was going to be singing to him only to be told that the other boy hadn't ever thought of him that way. The rejection had stung, far more than Finn's ever had, because at least Blaine  _ liked _ boys.

He just liked boys that weren't him.

“You...were never dating?” Jeff asked, subdued, and Nick gave him a concerned look. Kurt shook his head before taking a step back when Jeff cried, “What the  _ fuck!” _

“Jeff,” Nick said, reaching out a hand that was slapped away when Jeff went on, “No! All this time thinking they were together and holding ourselves back was for nothing!”

Jeff seemed to realize what he said at the same time Nick did, because both of their eyes went wide. They looked from each other back to Kurt quickly, each taking a step forward before Kurt quickly shook his head. He wasn't sure he could handle them being any closer than they already were, not with how badly his heart was racing and his hands were already sweating.

When the silence had gone on so long that he couldn't keep quiet any longer, he weakly cleared his throat. “Holding back from what?” Kurt asked quietly. His hands were carefully laced together in front of him, his thumb nervously running down the length of his index finger, back and forth and back and forth as he did his best to ignore the way his heart had started racing.

Nick shot Jeff a look that dripped with irritation, before he turned to Kurt with a much softer smile and quietly said, “We've wanted to ask you out for...weeks, really. But we all thought that you were dating Blaine, and we didn't want to put you in that sort of position. Your friendship meant too much for us to try to ask for more even if we really wanted to.”

“We could have been dating this  _ whole _ time,” Jeff muttered angrily. His pout was really rather cute, and Kurt shook himself out of staring at the other boy's bottom lip and the way it was sticking out.

Once their words kicked in, Kurt felt rather like he'd been kicked in the chest. The air in his lungs all but whooshed out of him in shock, and he stumbled back until his knees hit his bed and he fell back onto it with a little bounce. He stared at them silently, eyes rapidly flicking back and forth between the two boys as they looked right back.

Eventually, Kurt was able to croak out a very weak exclamation of, “I don't understand what's going on right now.”

The two boys shared a look that Kurt didn't even bother trying to decipher. It felt like the room was spinning as he replayed Nick's confession over and over again. It was one thing to imagine that Blaine liked him, with all the studying and the walks throughout the garden and the coffee orders and the  _ touching, _ but it seemed impossible to even consider that these two boys liked him. 

“We want to date you,” Jeff told him steadily, holding eye contact even as the air whooshed from Kurt’s lungs for the second time. 

“Oh,” Kurt said weakly, carefully looking over the two boys as they stood before him. They  _ were _ very cute, especially with Jeff’s messy blonde hair and Nick’s sweet smile. They were looking at him seriously and part of Kurt desperately wanted to believe they were being serious when another large part of Kurt was terrified that they were. 

“Oh,” Nick agreed. The boy was starting to blush, a pretty covering of pink dusting his cheeks and his nose, and Kurt let the smallest of smiles twist his lips upwards. 

He took a deep, steadying breath as he tried to think of what to say. He had been so caught up with Blaine and all the time they spent together that he really hadn’t become very good friends with many of the other Warblers, but when he really thought about it was clear that Nick and Jeff and been trying to be his friend. 

Something warm settled in his chest when he really thought about these two cute boys trying to date him. It certainly soothed the sting of Blaine’s rejection, and they  _ did _ say two is better than one...Kurt wondered if that saying applied to boyfriends. 

“Will I just be dating each of you, or will you be dating one another as well?” Kurt asked quietly. He...still wasn't totally sure if he believed what was going on, but if it was a dream, then he had nothing to lose. 

“What?” Jeff asked with a strange look that Kurt couldn't get a read on.

He sighed, looking between the two and wondering if he was already messing things up. If trying to date  _ one _ boy had never worked, did he really have a chance with two?  _ They asked you out,  _ he reminded himself, taking a deep breath as he explained, “Well, I would like to know if you would like this to be a v, with me in the middle, or more of a triangle.”

“I don’t...” Nick trailed off, his eyes dropping to where his hands were tangled together in front of him.

“I just assumed we’d all be dating each other?” Jeff blurted out. He slapped his hands over his mouth afterwards, and Kurt was distracted by the rush of warmth that rose in his chest by the way Jeff's eyes darted nervously over to Nick.

Nick, who was staring over at Jeff with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. “Wait, really?”

“Uh, yeah? Did you think we...wouldn’t date each other? That we would just date Kurt separately?”

Silence reigned. Kurt fidgeted where he sat, feeling almost like he was intruding. But, he knew that if this was going to be a relationship, and one that  _ worked, _ they would all have to be very honest with one another and they couldn’t shy away from potentially uncomfortable situations.

Kurt took a deep breath, biting into his bottom lip as he contemplated his next step. He still wasn't totally convinced he wasn't dreaming, and if he  _ was _ dreaming then there was no harm in laying it all out there.

After another moment of silence so tense it felt like he could cut it with a knife, he asked, “Maybe...if it’s not too forward, maybe I could tell you both what I would like most, as you’re here asking me?” Both boys nodded, Nick looking very subdued next to Jeff, whose head was bouncing up and down like he was a bobblehead. “I would like us all to date one another. A triad, I believe is the term. I would date Nick, and Nick would Jeff, and Jeff would date me. We’d all be dating each other, together, though that doesn’t mean we couldn’t do things in pairings of two.”

“I-I would really like that. That’s...that’s not selfish, is it? To want to date the two of you?” Nick looked so concerned that Kurt reached out and took his hand. The other boy was quick to twine their fingers together and move a little closer, and it made his cheeks warm. He'd never held hands with another boy before, not like this, and it made his heart race.

“Well, I think after everything I’ve put up with this year, I deserve to be a little selfish,” Kurt said decisively, a grin curving his lips that turned into a full-blown smile when Jeff pumped his fist into the air with a silly little shout. Kurt laughed, reaching out his other hand for Jeff to take as he smiled between the two of them. “So...musicals and junk food as our first date?”

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are much appreciated!   
come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [(not) a morning person](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21980551) by [lavenderlotion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion)


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